Natural Order
Body + Soul, Sunday Telegraph: December 9, 2007

The position you’re born into in the family can affect your personality, the way you view the world and how you relate to others. Does your personality reflect your birth order position? Take this quiz to find out.

1. You’ve planned an outing for friends and although the weather forecast was good, it’s raining. Do you:
a) Feel anger at the weather forecasters all day, even when plan B has been implemented and is running smoothly?
b) Dig out your gumboots and suggest ten-pin bowling instead?
c) Outing? What outing? Oh yeah, I remember. What time and where?

2. You are more likely to say:
a) Didn’t I do a good job?
b) I’m quite happy with that.
c) Did I do a good job?

3. The weekend finally rolls around, you:
a) Know exactly what you’re doing from Friday night drinks through to a Sunday evening movie.
b) Have a number of options, but you haven’t made any commitments yet.
c) Are triple booked on Saturday night.

4. Your company sends you on a team building day and one of the exercises is building a rocket out of newspaper, rubber bands and Paddle Pop sticks, you:
a) Immediately assign roles and oversee production – this is going to be best paper rocket ever created.
b) Make the parts perfectly, as instructed, offering your assistance to others when finished.
c) Come up with the design for the rocket then happily let the leader make it happen.

5. When it comes to visiting people unannounced you:
a) Would never drop in on anyone unannounced.
b) Call from outside.
c) Are a fan of the drop in.

6. You are going to a part of town you’ve never been before, do you:
a) Look up the route on the internet, print it out and drive there?
b) Work out where it is roughly, then ask directions when you get closer?
c) Find out who else is going and get a lift with them?

7. The best kind of holiday is:
a) Full of activities and has a daily routine.
b) One that has no plans.
c) An organised tour.

8. The desk in your home office is more likely to be:
a) Clear, everything is stored in your three-tiered, priority ordered in-tray.
b) Buried under piles of things that need doing.
c) The kitchen table.

9. When making new friends you:
a) Are an open book and have no trouble telling them about yourself.
b) Choose which aspects of your personality you will share.
c) Know that they’re going to like you.

11. If you want something you:
a) Ask for it.
b) Look for ways to achieve it.
c) Utilise the resources of others to make it happen.

12. Today (Sunday) your home is:
a)  Tidy – Saturday is washing day.
b) A bit of a mess – it’s been a busy week, you’ll tidy up tomorrow.
c) A mess as always.

13. You make a silly mistake do you:
a) Get angry at yourself?
b)  Feel embarrassed?
c) Laugh about it?

14. You are overcharged at a restaurant. Do you:
a) Assume it was intentional and complain loudly?
b) Pretend you haven’t noticed, but don’t leave a tip?
c) Ask them to check the bill, then end up having a laugh with the waiter?

15. You had your rebellious phase:
a) As an adult.
b) As a teenager.
c) You’ve never been rebellious.

16. Home is:
a) The suburb or house you grew up in.
b) The town you live in.
c) Your family.

17. When it comes to cooking you:
a) Hate having other people in the kitchen.
b) Can make a meal out of anything.
c) Are limited to pasta and tomato sauce.

Mostly As – First in Line
Our natural leaders, first-borns can be found presiding over nations, managing companies, in medicine, accounting or law. They make up some 50 percent of society and, according to leading US psychologist, Dr Kevin Leman, come in two flavours: compliant nurturers/caregivers or aggressive movers and shakers. “Both are in control,” he says, “they just use different methods.”

First-borns can have an air of superiority, strong opinions and be insensitive at times, but if it weren’t for them, nothing would ever get done. They tend to presume leadership, even when it’s not intentional, and they thrive on routines and rules. These people are list makers and love to set goals; they are responsible, determined and often perfectionists; first-borns aren’t always good at delegating. 

Conservative first-borns love being in the spotlight – but only when they’re guaranteed success as they’re not natural risk takers.

Mostly Bs - Middle Child Syndrome
Second-borns and middle children tend to be more easy-going and sociable than their elder siblings. Diplomacy, peacemaking and the ability to be flexible are their strengths. These free spirits can be secretive, however, and can have trouble communicating their needs or asking for help. They can be competitive, too.

Middles and second-borns make great negotiators, but they will go out of their way to avoid confrontation. They are friendly and have large social groups, and tend to confide more in friends than family, seeing their peers as allies. They seek acceptance and belonging, and will often join groups or societies where they can belong on their own merits.

Mostly Cs – The Baby
Parenting educator Michael Grose says, “The world would be a boring, straight place if it were not for later-borns.” These charming risk-takers have strong people-skills and love entertaining others. They make friends easily and can talk to anyone.

Last-borns are the most likely to challenge conventional ways of thinking, but they don’t take themselves too seriously. In fact, no-one takes them seriously, which often makes them feel that there is always someone bigger, brighter and smarter than themselves. Last- borns love attention, but they don’t need approval like first-borns. They can be manipulative and persistent to get what they want.

Last-borns can appear self-centered and are used to letting others do things for them, but this group is most likely to have the really creative ideas. They get bored quickly and have a strong fear of rejection, which may be why its often easier to play the clown.

Across The Board – Only The Lonely
Single children have a bad rap as being selfish, unhappy, childish and attention-seeking – not so (accept maybe the last, a little). Only children generally have good self-esteem, are articulate and clever, and have great people-skills. These mini-adults can become quite serious as adults.
Single-borns often have the exaggerated characteristics of many first-borns, including being achievement-oriented, conservative and perfectionist. They can be very inflexible and don’t like to have their routine upset, nor will they like surprises.

Growing up without siblings means these people are content on their own and need privacy. They take direction more than using their own initiative, are sensitive and don’t take criticism well. Only children have a strong desire to please others and can take on others’ feelings.

In context
Generally speaking, first-borns love to write lists, middle-children are great listeners and youngests make fantastic sales people, but there can be variations. Gender has a role to play – a second-born son with an older sister could assume first-born characteristics if a male was more prized in the family. A gap of more than a few years between the last and second-last could see the last acting more like an only child, and a disabled child at any position can alter the birth order personalities of all siblings.  Then there are multiple births, step-siblings, plus the general temperament of each player in the family. Why First Borns Rule The World And Last Borns Want To Change It by Michael Grose (Random House) gives a fantastic overview of birth-order theory. Another interesting read is The Birth Order Connection (Revell) By Dr Kevin Leman.